So my son Jackson just found out he didn’t make the 7th grade basketball team.  Out of the 37 twelve/thirteen year-olds who tried out for the team, he wasn’t in the top twelve.  He may have been number 13 or number 30 but none of that really matters right now.  He’s heartbroken.  He’s frustrated and angry and extremely disappointed.  Most of all though, he seems confused.  He knows he left it all on the court and knows he did his best.  His mom is proud.  I am proud.  I hope he is proud of himself.  But like that big fish that got away, it doesn’t seem to mean much to him right now.

What is he supposed to learn from this lesson?  Should he learn that he isn’t one of the best basketball players in our community?  Perhaps, although I think he already knew he wouldn’t be starting on the team and averaging 22 points per game.  Should he learn that as long as you try your best, nothing else matters?  It sounds good on paper but it doesn’t put his name on a roster.  Will he learn that hurt and disappointment fade away over time?  Maybe he will, yet tonight sure brought back memories of my own “failure” to make the 7th grade basketball team (if you knew me then or know me now, you know I’m not exactly built for basketball but my 12 year-old self didn’t want to accept that or hear that either!).

In all honesty, it just makes me wonder what lessons we teach our kids about what we value.  Would I rather Jackson have made the basketball team and go to school tomorrow and trash-talk his friends, cuss them if they dared question why he made it, and then make a cruel or obscene joke?  Not in a million years.  We have a son who sees the value in people.  He works hard and makes excellent grades.  He plays club soccer and attends church almost every time the door is open.  He has a big heart and, I believe, an even bigger future before him.  Yet tonight, it doesn’t matter much to him.

I choose to believe that God is going to teach him a great lesson through this and show him something greater is out there.  I choose to believe that God has a purpose for his pain and will only use it to motivate him to get better, work harder, and never stop pursuing his goals.  I choose to believe that this blip on his life radar screen is a jumping off point to something greater.  I choose to believe that if I teach my son what really matters in life: caring for others, showing kindness in all you do, believing God has created you for a grand purpose and given you the gifts and talents to achieve that purpose, and understanding this journey called life has many hills and valleys but a most glorious final destination, I have taught him well.  Did I teach him everything I knew about basketball?  I did.  Have I taught him everything I’ve learned (and am still learning about life)? I’m only getting started.  You are an awesome and amazing son that God will bless and lead to do amazing and wonderful things.  Never forget that fact.  I don’t care what a 7th grade basketball rosters says.  You are extraordinary. That is the lesson I need him to learn.